Mystic Negro dot Com

This is what the Honda Accord looks like in the rest of the world:

You may know it in America as Acura’s entry level sedan, the TSX.  The cheapest TSX you can  buy costs more than the highest trim level Accord and even if you pile on the options the TSX keeps a not inconsiderable lead in pricing.  Oh yeah, the American Accord looks like this:

Which is to say, “ugly,” although I will admit that the coupe is kinda hot.

But ignoring all of that, the Euros get the Accord wagon

And while Honda has said that they will bring this over as a TSX model right now our choices are the Accord Crosstour:

Kill it with Fire

The proper response to seeing a Crosstour in public is to gather a torches and pitchforks wielding mob.

Of course if you’d prefer to spend more money on your ugly there’s always the Acura ZDX:

(Artist's Impression)

A car so ugly that The Mrs. believes that it cannot be photographed.  It is also stupid in a way that only a mid-sized SUV that you can’t fit four adults into without beheading two of them can be.

These tortured exercises in design exist because Americans hate wagons.  Because we am dumb.

Despite her corny stage name, DJ Rap has been my future wife since 1996 or so.  I should probably give that up now, given that I have an actual, current wife…