The Quarterly Writer’s Block Post…
The fun thing about having a personal blog (or hell, just keeping up a site all by yourself) is that every so often you just have nothing to say. Which is why for the last few weeks this place has pretty much just been titties. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t have thoughts of things to say, I had plenty of thoughts (as you’ll see in about three sentences) but between my crippling Cracked addiction (which I blame 100% on Darren Hough) and the fact that my life is both boring, and none of your damned business, I couldn’t be bothered to put pen to paper finger to keyboard. Below are some of the things that you didn’t get to read about over the last couple of weeks:
- Help Us Devon Smillie, You’re Our Only Hope…
No BMXer has managed to successfully break out of Atlanta. I mean, for about 30 seconds 18 months ago Talem did it, but it didn’t stick. Trey Jones shows up (or showed up) around here relatively often but he is, in fact, not even from Georgia. Hell, an argument can be made that for about 17 hours in 2008 I was the most famous BMXer in Georgia, and everyone knows I barely ride. So, it all rests on Devon’s tiny, birdlike shoulders (and his wrarms, we can’t forget the wrarms) to bring Atlanta into the spotlight… - BMW Officially Cancels the 5 Series Wagon in the US, Gives Us the Ugliest Vehicle Ever Made in its Place
This would have been another post about the 5 Series GT, which is how they blaspheme in Bavaria - The iPhone/Pod/Pad App Store Sucks – Tech Press Performs Ritual Mock Indignation
Maybe they really are indignant about the fact that Apple’s arbitrary app store rules cause items to be blocked and/or removed for offenses that are never fully explained, are completely arbitrary and completely contradictory with themselves. Maybe if every other article about Apple in the tech press didn’t read like it was written by someone kneeling, mouth agape in front of Steve Jobs proclaiming their willingness to swallow or take it to the face, maybe then I would take the indignation seriously. I don’t. - The iPad, Seriously
On the low end it costs more, but does less than a netbook. In order to make it actually useful you have to spend more than a mid-high end laptop and after that, it still doesn’t print. - Specialized Exits BMX Market and Enters Mountain Bike Market…With BMX Bikes
Yeah, just read it yourself, this is pretty dumb, but the bike looks nice. - Mars Needs Women and Rob Zombie Needs to Stop
An argument can be made that outside The Godfather Pt. 2, The Empire Strikes Back and maybe a handful of other movies that no sequel has ever been as good as its predecessor. So, I hoped against hope that Hellbilly Delux 2 wouldn’t suck. Unfortunately instead of hearing the evil returning as promised I got a good song (“Sick Bubblegum”) and an entire album of horror movie references over glam rock grooves. Excuse me, WTF?
I thoroughly believe that drum and guitar solos only exist live so that the rest of the band can go back stage and hit a bong, so why in the name of the Appice Brothers…why in the name of Carmine’s mighty mustache:
Don't Hate, For it is Mighty
would you put an eight minute drum solo on an album? Hellbilly Delux 2 is like if George Lucas woke up and decided to make a movie about trade negotiations and a whiny prepubescent and call it “Star Wars,” fortunately Lucas has better sense than to unleash some boring shit like that on the world. Rob Zombie, take heed.
As you can see, nothing to see here. Hopefully I’ll get back on the ball this week.
Tags: Apple is Stupid, Devon Smillie, Hellbilly Delux 2, iPad, Rob Zombie, Specialized, Writer's Block
Monday, April 26th, 2010 at 9:30 am • Automobiles, BMX, Music, Pontificating, Site Updates • RSS 2.0 feed • leave a response or trackback
First, yes Carmen’s mustache IS mighty! Truly mighty. Second, all I have to say is “Inna Gadda Davida” (sp?). Longest.drum.solo.EVAR! (atleast, I’m pretty sure it is.)
Third, I’m certain you’re being sarcastic about Lucas. Because he totally did make that film. It was called “Revenge of the Sith.”
Lastly: DEVON SAVE US!!
No, it was called “The Phantom Menace,” “Revenge of the Sith” was where one of the greatest villains in movie history was turned into a whiny little girl.
Glad to have introduced you. I hit up that site myself regularly. You could be a Cracked writer, you seem to have a similar sense of humor and ready recall of our collective unconscious 80′s youth pop culture references that they use over there.
Yeah, you’re right about Georgia guys not really breaking nationally though. Jamie West from Savannah won a bunch of AFA titles in the late 80′s but was pretty much done by the time he was 17 or so. Me and the rest of the Athens crew got that scene report in Ride 11 years ago, and again in Shane Neville’s video magazine in 2002, which got us some attention, but I think it had more to do with Losey and Nev liking us than them discovering the next Mat Hoffman. I somehow got two pictures in two magazines in the same month back in 2005, but I a.) wasn’t credited in either picture and b.) was living in Pennsylvania at the time. The whole thing was more like falling down the stairs and landing on my feet.
Jody Temple’s gotten a lot of video coverage over the years, but I think the king of coverage in this state has to be Kent. I think one year he was in 6 videos or something like that….
Don’t you hate when you accidently hit enter before you want to? My point was, that, no one has ever become a super pro and been from Georgia. I think Devon could definitely do that if that’s what he wanted. He was airing higher than me when he was 7……