Mystic Negro dot Com

I’ll translate the below statement found on Engadget, “Dear Steve Jobs, go fuck yourself.”

Apple’s attempt to draw RIM into Apple’s self-made debacle is unacceptable. Apple’s claims about RIM products appear to be deliberate attempts to distort the public’s understanding of an antenna design issue and to deflect attention from Apple’s difficult situation. RIM is a global leader in antenna design and has been successfully designing industry-leading wireless data products with efficient and effective radio performance for over 20 years. During that time, RIM has avoided designs like the one Apple used in the iPhone 4 and instead has used innovative designs which reduce the risk for dropped calls, especially in areas of lower coverage. One thing is for certain, RIM’s customers don’t need to use a case for their BlackBerry smartphone to maintain proper connectivity. Apple clearly made certain design decisions and it should take responsibility for these decisions rather than trying to draw RIM and others into a situation that relates specifically to Apple.

So, yesterday Steve Jobs had a press release which he screamed “other people’s phones do this too!!!! There is no problem!!!!! THERE IS NO PROBLEM!!!!!! Here’s the fix to the problem…which does not actually exist

I’m not sure when Steve Jobs became the giant head on the screen in the 1984 commercial, but he pretty much officially is.

But I get ahead of myself.

Apple released a phone with two exposed antennae.  This, in itself is not a bad thing.  Exposed antennae are better than the internal ones.  You get better reception out of them.  Of course, since the human body has capacitive/resistive/conductive properties of its own, you tend not to put antennas where people can touch them.  Unless you’re Apple, then you just put them where they look best, which in this case was where most normal people (and all left handed people) would hold the phone.

This is because, despite Steve Jobs’ line  Apple is not an engineering company, it’s a design company.

No, Google is an engineering company, you can tell this because all of their products look like ass and they never leave beta.  Apple’s biggest asset is that it stuff looks really, really good and their products almost always leave the nest half cooked (who needs MMS? It’s not like you’re going to want to sharepictures you took with your phone camera!)

And that was the problem with the iPhone 4, not that the human body’s capacitance would attenuate the phone signal.  Yes, I can replicate the problem on my phone (an AT&T Tilt 2/HTC Touch Pro 2).  The problem is that in making the phone look good Apple put the antennae in a place where the problem would almost *have* to happen (again, while I can replicate the problem on my phone, it requires holding the phone at the top in an eagle claw type way that no sane person would ever do because it’s both uncomfortable and impractical). This is simple physics and no antenna engineer wouldn’t have raised an alarm at this.

Worse is that it took loads of public shaming to get Apple to release a limited mea culpa  for an issue that Jobs admitted that they knew was an issue before the phone was even shipped.  Their previous fixes of “don’t hold it like that” and “give us $30 for a bumper” displayed a hubris, a sheer douchebaggiosity that even Apple fanboys and fangirls found distasteful.

So, does this mean that the famed Reality Distortion Field is shrinking?  Possibly, but probably not.  If there’s one thing Apple fans have proven is their ability to take anal rape with a smile.  Thing is, most iPhone owners aren’t hardcore Apple fans, those are the people that Apple has to learn how to deal with.  Will they?  We’ll see.