Hold on, let me get this right…

No fucking comment.

Well, that cleared that right up.

Meanwhile Ian Schwartz decided to quit riding and become a farmer.  I actually get that.  I know it’s hard for some people to understand, but riding bicycles isn’t the most awesomest thing in the world for every body for all of their lives, especially if it’s your job.  Who hasn’t want to quit their job and find something more rewarding? I’ll say this to anybody, you should only ride as much and as hard as is fun for you. It always surprises me how many people have a hard time with that.

Of course, the real news of the week is this.

That’s a brand new, Polaroid camera folks.  Thanks to the work of The Impossible Project new Polaroid film is coming soon, so Polaroid has decided to get back in the game announcing a new model in either metallic silver or woodgrain at CES.  While I realize that you can do much to simulate the look of Polaroids via digital manipulation, you can also masturbate.  In both cases it’s not the same.  Plus, you want a conversation starter, pull out an instant camera.

Even though I have a Polaroid (I had two, but that’s a whole ‘nuther story involving a social experiment gone terribly wrong) I’m happy to see these. [via Gizmodo]

My name is George and I don’t like Fit Bike Co.  I know I’ve hinted around at my dislike of them before, but I figure now is time for me to go into the how’s and whyfors.  Y’see, it’s not like I hate their products, which I think are of the exact same quality as every other product at whatever price point they’re competing in.  Let’s be honest, the most innovative thing Fit’s done is name a product line after closeted gay sex, other than that all of their stuff is pretty much just like everybody else’s stuff.

Nope, my problem was always Fit’s image.  In an industry where avoidance of the jock mentality has been fetishized to an almost idiotic point Fit’s image was almost the the very definition of the jock mentality (and, let’s be honest^2, the dirty little secret of BMX is that the “jock mentality” is actually “the average mentality of 16 year old boys” and this sport is lousy with 16 year old boys).  While other brands seemed to sell “ride our stuff and you’ll have fun,” Fit sold “ride our stuff and you’ll be cool.”  If BMX is high school, Fit was the captain of the football team, who was banging the head of the cheerleading squad, and her best friend…and they both knew and didn’t care.

The kids, of course, ate it up.  Speaking ill of Fit was/is verboten and to do so was to loose all credibility.  Fortunately I never had any credibility to start with.

It’s not the first time I’ve disliked a company for its image.  As metal as I am, I never wanted any old FBMs because I had no desire to roll around with upside down crosses all over my stuff.   I didn’t hate FBM, I just wasn’t really into rocking Satanic imagery (“But George,” you say, “don’t you listen to Slayer regularly?” Yeah, but when was the last time you saw me with a Slayer t-shirt on?)

It’s of course, not impossible for a company to change their image and have me move them from the “no” to the “yes” column.  I mean, I’m seriously considering an FBM Exodus, so Fit has a chance, especially since…

As everyone knows Robbie Morales ran screaming from the S&M World Domination Headquarters and took all of the Fit riders too young to have underarm hair with him.  The account I read (and I only read the one because, really, how much of a crap do I give?) was that Robbie wanted to start a new brand with all of the interchangeable street riders who give the young boys hard-ons younger riders from the team (because, as history has proven, people over 25 and people under 25 can not work together, ever).  He was basically trying to pull the same move he did with Edwin and Aitken back in the day, but with a new brand.  This was the cause of all of the acrimony between him and Moeller for the last year or so.

I thought they’d stay together for the kids money, but apparently Robbie’s gotta do what Robbie’s gotta do and so he bolted and is starting a new company, with a dumb name (“Cult,” really?) with all of the kids from the Fit team (even Chase “I’m riding Fit until I die” Hawk), leaving Fit with a team of, well people I actually give a shit about.  In other industries the question when someone pulls this off is “will the world care twice,” I can already answer that question.  Yes, because BMX’s memory is shorter than its seatposts.  The real question isn’t, “will the world care twice,” it’s, “how old can Robbie be and keep on with the trend whore business plan.”  I mean, Madonna’s pulled it off for 30 years, but with all due respect, Robbie’s not at all full of her GILFy goodness.  At some point you stop being “that hip older guy with your finger on the pulse of the industry,” and become “that weird old guy.”

You can only refresh Menudo so many times, it’ll be interesting to see how many Robbie can get away with.