New Kent video. Now with trails!
Oh Happy Day
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50 Shades a Dey Part 6: I’s Hads Alls I Can Stands and I Can’t Stands No More
People who know me know that I have a peculiar personality trait. I cannot lose to an inanimate object. If you beat me, that’s fine. I can accept that there are people who are smarter/faster/stronger/prettier than me. However, inanimate objects exist solely to be bent to my will. A thing is not better than me, it is a thing..
This attitude, much to the chagrin of my wife and my boss, has often resulted in minor injuries as I refused to let a ramp tell me what to do. Being self aware enough to realize this about myself has resulted in minor annoyance by my friends as I refused to do something because I didn’t feel like being hurt that day.
All of this is to say, 50 Shades of Grey, you win, I quit.
Hey, I Know That Guy
I’ve known Ryan Davis for a bunch of years now and he was always a guy who I thought could do more on a bike than he showed. And then he put on front brakes (because Kent Pearson, that’s why) and lookit, he can do tech and go big.
50 Shades a Dey Part 5: The 14th Amendment and You
I know I keep harking on how monumentally stupid Anastasia Steele is. I mean how utterly, truly, brutally moronic she is. But…
We’re in a built-up area of the city and even I know helicopters need space to take off and land.
Please fast forward to the six minute mark.
That was a helicopter landing on top of a Skoda Yeti. The Yeti is roughly the size of a Ford Escape, give or take. Because helicopters need space to take off and land.
I’m going to tap a vein if I don’t stop reading this.
50 Shades a Dey Part 4: Someone Please Kill Me, I Murmur
I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up. I keep telling myself that I’m taking this one for the team, that I’m serving the greater good of making a friend laugh while I suffer through this. I’ve made it up to chapter 10 now. Shit just got real*.
50 Shades a Dey Part 3: Who is this For?!?!?!?
I have a friend who was recently dragged to see The Adventures of Tintin with her husband and eight year old son. She spent the rest of the afternoon complaining about it to me. “It was boring, there was no romance.” I countered that it wasn’t a romance movie, it was a kid’s action movie. “It doesn’t matter,” she replied, “movies without romance are boring.” I tried to explain to her that it was an action movie aimed at 10 year old boys and that a 10 year old boy’s idea of romance is feeling guilty after punching a girl in the head. She would have none of it, all movies need romance she said. This went on and on and on to the point where I prayed that she was just kidding with me, otherwise my friend was stupid. I mean, it’s not like I demand more onscreen decapitations in episodes of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (that would have made me actually watch that show, though). Some things are just are just not for you.
50 Shades of Grey is obviously not for me. So, who the hell is it for?
50 Shades a Dey Part 2: The Asshole Convention
It’s day two of me reading Twilight fan fiction cum erotic romance best seller, 50 Shades of Grey. It is clear to me now that I hate myself. It’s the only reason I can explain doing this. Oh and a friend of mine asked me to and since she’s going through a rough patch and my pain appears to make her laugh I’m toughing it out. Because I’m a fragging mensch, I am.
I’ve read chapters four and five without putting a gun to my head. Ready. Set. Go!
50 Shades a Dey Pt. 1: Wow, Just, Wow
So, let me start by saying that I avoided Twilight like the plague. On the surface Twilight is a story about a centenarian’s courtship of a mentally disturbed minor, Pedo Bear may approve, but I’m not so fond of it. Beneath the surface Twilight is a primer on how to be in an abusive relationship. What I’m saying is, I’m morally opposed to Twilight.
So why do I find myself reading a book that started as Twilight fan-fiction? Because a friend of mine is over the moon for it and another friend of mine is completely, totally, incredibly in hate for it. That’s the friend who gave me a copy to read. (spoilers) I’m now convinced that she’s not so much my friend, but my arch enemy.
Anywhoo
My plan is to read as much of 50 Shades of Gray as I can stomach every night and then comment on it the next day.
Ready? Go!
G. v Android Pt II – This is Not a Media Player
A week in I came to a revelation. The Samsung Galaxy S Player 5.0 is not a media player. This hit me when I was trying to watch a video of my niece’s puppies trying to get into her doggy door (back in the before time when they weighed like 5lbs a pop, not 85lbs). I could not view the video. To be fair, the video was shot in an exotic format, .MOV from her iPhone.
Wait, what?
The Galaxy Player is not a media player. A media player would probably support one of the more popular video codecs out the box. This did not. It seems to not support too much of anything out the box. In order to be able to view a .MOV file I had to download a program, much like I had to do to download podcast. If I have to add items to recreate the basic functionality of my for real, dedicated (and dying) media players then I have to say this isn’t one of them.
If it isn’t a media player what is it? Well, the people at work constantly ask me “is that a tablet or a phone?” It’s a PDA.
No, really. The Handspring Treo was a Handspring Visor (I totally had a blue one) with a cellphone shoved in it. Windows Mobile phones were Pocket PCs with cellphones attached to them. This Galaxy 5.0 is a Galaxy Note without a cellphone. If a smartphone is a PDA with a cellular radio, then if you remove the cellular radio from a smartphone you don’t get a “media player” you get a PDA. Well, it’s about the same size as my old Dell Axim (which still works, actually, why didn’t I just use it?). So, all the talk of tablets being the new computing paradigm and the constant repeating of Steve Jobs’ ridiculous truck analogy (the Ford F series and GM’s GMT900 base vehicles still outsell pretty much everything else combined) is really just hooray for PDAs.
Who knew?
Also, the camera on this thing ba-lows.
G. v Android
In the wake of the second death of my Zune HD I grabbed a Samsung Galaxy Player 5.0 for my all day MP3 player needs (you may say “why don’t you use your phone?” I like preserving its battery so that I can use it as a phone if need be)
So far, for something that markets itself as a media player we’ve got fail. I spend most of my day listening to podcasts, but there is no podcatcher loaded on this thing. Apparently Google listen will do the job, but it’s terrible beyond words (You’d think that Google, GOOGLE could get the search function right, you’d think wrong).
Lacking a decent, native podcast function I grabbed Doggcatcher, which everyone agrees is the best podcasting utility. It also cost me five bucks. This is not a good start.
